we've opened up our eyes
by irisofmountains
Summary: In which Ross distances himself from Laura towards the end of season 4 because of the realizations. One-shot.


As each day passed, it grew harder to ignore the fact that he was distancing himself from her. At first, he would come up with excuses to not go out with the cast for lunch. It was only when Laura had things to do and couldn't go out to eat with them, that he would go with the rest without thinking about it twice. Then, it went to him excusing himself whenever the four of them were hanging out. Calum thought he just wasn't feeling up to it, although it seemed strange for him to excuse himself _every time_ Laura was present. Raini thought he was feeling a little down because season 4 was coming to a wrap. She understood him, if her theory was right, because she was feeling the same way but she was enjoying her last weeks with her best friends. Laura on the other hand, felt something different. She could feel and see how he was ignoring _her._ However, she decided to ignore it and see how the last weeks of them progressed.

Raini and Calum noticed it. The crew and writers noticed it, even Kevin and Heath. She noticed it. All the bickering and the fighting like a married couple was something that was seen everyday on set. Now it was something that had suddenly disappeared, evaporated into the air. As if a tornado had come on set and swept the one thing that made Ross and Laura unique in their own special way. The set used to have laughs at how they would contradict each other and now, you could feel the coldness roaming around the air. Ross spent all his time in the dressing room except when rehearsing and shooting. Otherwise, it was as if he wasn't part of the cast at all.

She tried not to think about it but each day it got harder. She questioned if she had done something wrong, if she had said something that might have angered him. She wanted to talk to him but every time she tried to, he would shut her out. She even took semi extreme measures and contacted Rydel to ask her. All she got was that he was pretty normal around his family, he was happy and inseparable. When wasn't he?

The days passed by and the ignoring got worse. The only thing he would say to her were his simple greetings and departures. The shooting scenes between Austin and Ally were emotional and as she looked into his eyes while shooting, she searched for something, for anything that told her what was wrong. But he was an expert at making himself and Austin Moon two very different people.

_You wrote a list of things I lack. We've come to realize, we've opened up our eyes._

It was the second to last week of shooting and it had gotten to the point where he even skipped some rehearsals. Him hanging out with Raini and Calum had lessened as well. Every time someone tried to call, it would go straight to voicemail. It was as if the earth had cracked opened and swallowed him.

Thursday night and Laura couldn't take it anymore. She was partly angry at her friend for all the months of ignoring and partly worried because she couldn't help but be worried about him. So she goes to his house after they're done shooting for the day and knocks on the door. Stormie answers but says that none of the kids are home. So she does the one thing she is absolute sure she needs to do. She waits for him because she needs to know that after this is all over, they'll be alright.

Two hours pass, as she sits in his room, lying on his bed, staring out as the palm trees outside sway by the wind. She hears Rydel and Rocky's voice outside and preps herself up to have Ross walk in any moment. She questions whether she should leave his room and go outside, because after all, he shared this room with Ryland and they wouldn't be alone. But before she could really consider it now, the door to the room slams open revealing a very sweaty Ross with grey sweats, black v-neck shirt, and his typical worn out converse. It was times like these where she realized that she found him attractive any way he really was.

"What are you doing here?" his voice comes out strained. He looked calm but if you were to really look at him, you could notice how his shoulders and body position were tense.

"Can we talk?" her voice is a whisper. The confidence she was feeling starts to reduce as she notices that he doesn't feel comfortable enough to be in the same room as her.

"I have to take a shower and I have some other things to do Laura," he walks towards his bed, keeping enough distance between themselves, and grabs his towel. She looks up at him trying to decipher what's wrong, once again trying to search for anything that his eyes might reveal. But all she sees is coldness, harshness, shutting her out.

He turns to leave but she grips his arm to stop him before he can reach the door.

"It's been five damn weeks. You owe me this one talk," she says, anger evident. He shakes himself from her, closes his door with lock, turns to face her, and throws his towel to the floor harshly.

"Go ahead, talk."

Keeping the tears in was something she wasn't prepared to do. She could feel them dwell in her eyes but she was trying her hardest not to let them go.

"Why? What did I do to you for you to be treating me like you've been treating me?" she takes a step toward him. His body stiffens at her move.

"I haven't been feeling... well," he replies. That has to be the most insane crazy answer he could give. Not feeling well.

"What do you mean you're not feeling well? So just because you don't feel well you decide to treat me as if I don't exist? As if we're not friends?" and the one tear that was threatening to fall, falls.

"Look, I've gotten used to it. You get used to it. It saves us both from later regretting something. So just leave it. Don't extend this more than I want to. I don't need you to understand why I do what I do. Season 4 ends next week and we won't see each other, we don't have to keep this going," he pauses and heads towards the door to open it for her to leave, "just go Laura."

She wipes her tears, grabs her purse, and walks to the door but before she heads out, "and to think that I wanted something with you." With that she heads out of his room, out of his house, passing by Stormie, Mark, Riker, and Rydel in the living room not even saying goodbye. She runs towards her car at full speed, wiping her tears away, trying to think of what just happened, of what he just said.

But before she could actually get in her car, the light from the porch turns on and he walks out with an angry expression. She fumbles with her keys as she tries to open the door but before she actually can, he's right behind her, spinning her around to face him. He backs away to keep a distance from each other.

"You wanted something with me? Seriously? Do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds coming from you Laura?" he slams his hand next to her car.

"Ridiculous? Do you know how stupid it sounds for you to tell me that you've been ignoring me because you haven't felt 'well'"?!" she raises her voice at him. He slightly flinches at the tone of her voice but she doesn't care how harsh she sounds. He takes out a piece of folded paper from his sweatpants pocket and hands it to her, "here." Her eyes flicker from his face to the note. Was the answer to all her questions written on it? She honestly didn't know what to expect to read on it but she had this feeling of dread.

"Read the fucking paper Laura."

She starts to open it slowly until she sees his messy handwriting written in blue ink. And suddenly she feels like her heart has been shattered and ripped into pieces, or maybe she feels like her brain is playing illusions with her and she's reading the things she didn't want to admit yet.

She reads as every one of the things she lacks is written down on that paper. And really it's not the things written down that shatter her, it's the very last thing he wrote that makes her feel weak.

_Afraid to love._

She knows no one is perfect, and she knows that him writing down the things she lacks should be something positive because it'll help her be a better person but that one thing is the one thing she seems she can't help, and the fact that he can just write it down like that, the fact he kept it for her to last read.

"You wanted something with me but you're afraid to love Laura," he says more calmly, "all this time I've thought it was the fans, it was work that was keeping us from being us but I finally realized it. It's not them, it's us. We ourselves don't allow for there to be an actual us. Actually, scratch that, I am willing, or was willing, to give us a chance. For the past three years I've been waiting for you to let go of this fear of afraid to love, but you haven't. And I honestly don't know when you're going to let it go but no matter how much I tried to get you see us, to make you see that I can make you not be afraid of love, you always pushed it away. I tried so damn hard to help, God knows, but nothing happened Laura. I can't take this fear out of you and I don't know who will," he sighs and puts his hands in his pockets, "it's us that never gave us the chance."

And with that, he walks away into his house, leaving her alone to drown in her tears. And as much as she wants to not believe that, she knows it's the complete truth. She is afraid of love and no matter how much she's tried to love someone romantically, she hasn't been able to. And the one person she wanted to be the most with, the one who tried the hardest for her all these years, has finally opened up his eyes to her sad truth. They've realized it wasn't the fans, or those interviewers keeping them dating because of the tension and drama, it was always them. They've opened up their eyes to the truth that was always there.

'_cause you're a mountain__ I can't climb yet. And I'm a painting but you're blinded. _

Friday she called in sick, for once, and asked to have the rest of her scenes filmed on Saturday. All the scenes she had left were only with Raini so she was grateful for that. She didn't want to see Ross, not yet. She had to take her time to actually think of what they talked about, of how this all affected their friendship. Suddenly, the pieces clicked together. He wasn't ignoring her for the sole purpose of it, but because he wanted to save himself the heartache of what it would actually mean to say goodbye on the last day of set. It would be saying goodbye to any possibility of them, of any thought he had that they could actually be _Raura._ He had figured that if he wasn't attached to her how he was, the departure would somehow be easier. He was doing everything possible to make his mind not want her, at all.

Maybe she should have done the same with him but truth is that she can't.

He's a mountain she can't climb yet. Many people consider a mountain a struggle, a challenge, but she considered it a beautiful moment in her life. Because that is exactly what he was to her, a beautiful thing in her life. She loved him, more than she would admit. She couldn't let him go. And she couldn't climb that mountain yet. He was like that breath of fresh air you inhale when you rise to the surface of the water. He was like the hot cocoa you get on those winter cold days. He was like those seagulls flying around the boardwalk, flying free, making the view better. He was the Austin to her Ally, and all these years she had sort of guessed she was the Ally to his Austin.

She viewed herself as a painting to him, but he was blinded. A painting can many times be a mystery and that's what she considered herself in front of Ross' eyes. She was a girl full of many things he loved but at the same time, things he didn't like. She is afraid to love, she wants to so desperately love him back but she's scared. He's blinded because he can't see that she truly does want him but she needs a little more time. A little more time to get used to the idea of having someone actually love her like that and to prepare to love someone the equally.

_It's us that we despise._

Monday morning came and she was the first one on set. In fact, she was the first one on the parking lot. She just wanted to rush in and go to her dressing room and lock herself until she was needed. She hadn't slept at all and the bags were evident under her eyes.

His car is the next one to arrive. And to her luck, he gets down and taps on her window. Well, the thing she didn't want to do yet has to happen now. She gets out of her car, locks it, and sits on the sidewalk. The realization that this is their last week hits her like a bag of bricks.

"Last Monday together," she half smiles. He sighs and takes a seat next to her, leaving no personal space, how it usually is for them.

"It's us that we despise," he whispers looking out in front of them, with his hands crossed on his knees and head bent down.

"What?" she doesn't want to talk about this yet.

"I hate myself for not realizing it earlier. If I had, maybe, there could have been an us," he answers.

"There could still be an us," she follows his same position, "but yeah I hate myself for not realizing any of this earlier either." He finally looks at her and does one of the things he's been dying to do. He holds her hands in his.

"I love you. So much. You know I'm not that easy to say my feelings so it kind of took me a lot to say this right now. But I do love you and you should've known that by now and-"

"Ross Shor Lynch, I love you too. I'm willing to give us a chance-"

"Laura stop," he sighs again, "I ignored you all these weeks because I was half mad at what I realized and I also wanted to distance myself from you so this week wouldn't be as hard," he slightly chuckles, "but that didn't work out as you can see. And last night I had another realization."

She laughs, for the first time in a month, she truly laughs, "this has been your weeks of revelations huh?" He laughs along with her, "I want to give us a chance so badly. I really do. The thing is that I don't want to jeopardize our friendship for a romantic relationship. I don't want to lose you like that."

"You won't lose me. I'm positive that no matter what happens with us, we'll always be the close friends we've been since day one. You can come to me and I can come to you, right?" she smiles at him. He leans in and gives her a quick kiss on the lips and when he pulls away, his mouth lingers on hers, "look how all the relationships go. Every celebrity couple that breaks up ends up distancing themselves more than they realize. And I won't lose you like that Laura. I won't."

"But we could be different."

"No. I rather have us end up like Leo and Kate. I rather keep you as a best friend than have the chances of something going wrong and losing you completely." He pulls completely away and stands up, "You're just the one thing I can't have but I'm not willing to lose."

And in that moment, I realized I lost part of my best friend.


End file.
